Tag Archives: scammers

A Special Message to Scammers and Tele-Marketers Everywhere


This post is for all the scammers and tele-marketers out there that truly believe a portion of my money belongs to them, and that I have no better things to do with my time other than turn off my saw, trip over the cord, and track sawdust across my carpet as I race for the phone. I offer you this information

  • It is not your business if I voted in the last election and you cannot encourage me to say “Yes” or “No”.
  • If you have to ask if I have a computer, you don’t really know that my ip address is sending out porn.
  • Victoria, I know I didn’t win that cruise, because I never entered the contest, and your twenty-three calls still do not make your story believable.
  • If you don’t know my name, you do not know that my credit card is in trouble.
  • I don’t care how hard you cry, you are still not my grandson, and if you actually are in jail in Germany, tough it out, you aren’t my problem.
  • I don’t care if you do have my name, I’m still not saying yes, even when you get belligerent and swear at me. In fact, after laughing at you for a while, I’m hanging up.
  • If your name actually is Jane Smith why can you barely speak English?
  • I’m not giving you money, I’m not making a pledge, and I don’t want your packet.
  • Chances are, if you get angry and call me a liar, I’m not going to send you money. Oh, wait. I wasn’t going to send you any in the first place.
  • No, I’m not taking a survey.
  • I don’t need your service contract.
  • I did not ask for information about a back brace I saw on TV.
  • I don’t need senior care, and I don’t use catheters.
  • If I were a diabetic, I would not order medical supplies from an obscure company that contacted me by recording.
  • If my caller id lists you as unknown or just a bunch of numbers, expect me to pick up and immediately hang up. If you aren’t willing to tell me who you are, don’t expect me to talk to you.
  • The IRS does not issue warrants before they do audits. No one is coming to arrest me, but I’m not so sure the same can be said about you.
  • And Rachael from card holder services, if you get me out of the bathtub one more time, I’m going to reach through the receiver and tie your tongue in a knot!

 

And just to keep this post in line with this site’s theme:

To the tele-marketer from Florida, who forgot what he was selling and talked to me for ten minutes about his parrot, then hung up without remembering to make the sales pitch:

You might want to look over your shoulder and see if the boss is watching…

Sue

(To my regular readers, I apologize for my unbridled frustration.)

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