Category Archives: Sue’s Corner

My Week at a Glance

It’s been an interesting week here in the hollow.

One of the cats has taken to knocking down the litter scoop and leaving deposits on the handle. I can’t even imagine the reason for this. We think we have solved the problem by tucking the litter scoop inside an empty, kitty litter bag. I really hope kitty doesn’t become more creative.


 

 

 


 

 

 

 

My daughter got married this week. At night this house sounds like a morgue.

Our credit card account got hacked. Someone changed our passwords, security questions, and address, then charged over two thousand dollars at two online sites. Because my husband checks our accounts often, he caught it quickly. We straightened things out, changed everything, and put a “Fraud Alert!” on our account. Would you believe that the hacker had the gall to call the credit card company, pretend to be a business, and ask for our new information? I can’t believe these people.

The outside cat, Skitty, has become outrageously fat. She has always been a little portly, and she is an excellent eater, but lately people keep telling me that my cat is pregnant. I am in denial. We have Skitty on the list of cats to be fixed for the sake of her health, but she hasn’t had kittens for a long, long time. She looks like a basketball with feet. We now have five cats in the house (counting the two young kittens) and two cats outdoors. I don’t want any more kittens.  I’m too old for this. She’s just fat. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Mother’s house is in the process of being sold. Because it is one hundred and eighteen years old, we specified that it would be sold “as is.”  The buyer sent  back a list of things that they wanted done. The most notable was “Repairs need done to hot water heater. Pilot won’t light when gas is off.”  This leads me to two conclusions. “As is” doesn’t mean what we thought it did, and some company must sell “gas” hot water heaters that don’t require “gas” to light the pilot. I wish someone would tell me where to get one of these energy-efficient models.

A new cat has been spending time on my porch. I have been attempting to get a photo, but she hasn’t been cooperating, and I must admit that in spite of the fact that she is small and incredibly beautiful, I’m a little afraid of her. If I can remember where I put the game cam, I’ll set it up in an effort to get a better photo. Or perhaps I can just lure her closer with a little cat food…. Here kitty, kitty…

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We Care

I was going to post today, but somehow photos of cuddly kittens didn’t seem to blend with the troubled feeling in my heart. The shootings in Las Vegas lie heavily upon my thoughts. My heart aches for these victims and the people that love them. There are no words that can be said that will heal these wounds. There are no deeds that can be done to right this wrong, but to those of you out there whose lives are shattered by this senseless act of violence please know that there are those of us who are holding you close in our prayers. We care and we cry with you.

Sue

 

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Shadow Magic

Hi, there! My name’s Shadow. I’m a three-week-old American short-haired kitten, and I can do a very cool magic trick.

Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone, and I’ll show you how it’s done.

First, let me introduce you to my big brother, Moe. He’s my assistant and the best babysitter in the world.
“Moe, wake up. We’re going to do the trick again.”

Next, I get into position…

And PRESTO!!! The kitten disappears!

It takes a little practice, but now you can do the trick at home!

Jasper’s still working on it… I think I might have left out part of the directions…

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How to Effectively Irritate Your Big Sister

A photographic story by:

Sammy the Adorable

Shadow the Terror

and Jasper the Attack Cat

1. Use her as a sliding board!

2. Play with her whiskers!

3. Push her off the bed!

4 .Gang up on her!

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The Princess is a Tramp

Oh, no! Not again! We’ve warned mother about those one night stands!

This is so embarrassing. When will she ever learn?

Do I really look like I care what my kids think?

Illegitimate children numbers 5, 6, 7, and 8.

With the birth of these kittens, we have finally managed to capture the wild Princess and bring her into the house. She has soiled my dining room rug and managed to give birth on my favorite blanket, but at least we will be able to take her to the vet for spaying as soon as the kittens are weaned. I don’t know whether to be happy for the cat or sad for myself. She practically climbs the walls at the slightest disturbance. I feel like a psychiatrist trying to calm down an insane floozy. Alas, the fate of those of us too soft-hearted to ignore the plight of feral cats…

Sue

 

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A Special Message to Scammers and Tele-Marketers Everywhere


This post is for all the scammers and tele-marketers out there that truly believe a portion of my money belongs to them, and that I have no better things to do with my time other than turn off my saw, trip over the cord, and track sawdust across my carpet as I race for the phone. I offer you this information

  • It is not your business if I voted in the last election and you cannot encourage me to say “Yes” or “No”.
  • If you have to ask if I have a computer, you don’t really know that my ip address is sending out porn.
  • Victoria, I know I didn’t win that cruise, because I never entered the contest, and your twenty-three calls still do not make your story believable.
  • If you don’t know my name, you do not know that my credit card is in trouble.
  • I don’t care how hard you cry, you are still not my grandson, and if you actually are in jail in Germany, tough it out, you aren’t my problem.
  • I don’t care if you do have my name, I’m still not saying yes, even when you get belligerent and swear at me. In fact, after laughing at you for a while, I’m hanging up.
  • If your name actually is Jane Smith why can you barely speak English?
  • I’m not giving you money, I’m not making a pledge, and I don’t want your packet.
  • Chances are, if you get angry and call me a liar, I’m not going to send you money. Oh, wait. I wasn’t going to send you any in the first place.
  • No, I’m not taking a survey.
  • I don’t need your service contract.
  • I did not ask for information about a back brace I saw on TV.
  • I don’t need senior care, and I don’t use catheters.
  • If I were a diabetic, I would not order medical supplies from an obscure company that contacted me by recording.
  • If my caller id lists you as unknown or just a bunch of numbers, expect me to pick up and immediately hang up. If you aren’t willing to tell me who you are, don’t expect me to talk to you.
  • The IRS does not issue warrants before they do audits. No one is coming to arrest me, but I’m not so sure the same can be said about you.
  • And Rachael from card holder services, if you get me out of the bathtub one more time, I’m going to reach through the receiver and tie your tongue in a knot!

 

And just to keep this post in line with this site’s theme:

To the tele-marketer from Florida, who forgot what he was selling and talked to me for ten minutes about his parrot, then hung up without remembering to make the sales pitch:

You might want to look over your shoulder and see if the boss is watching…

Sue

(To my regular readers, I apologize for my unbridled frustration.)

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The New Kids on the Block

When I was a kid, I remember traveling vagrants left marks on the fences of houses that were good for a handout. If you felt a smidgen of sympathy and gave a gaunt, sunken-eyed bum a sandwich, it wouldn’t be long before more vagrants were knocking at the door. The cure to your problem was to paint your fence. I am beginning to suspect that someone has marked my fence, or perhaps I have the word “sucker” tattooed to my forehead in invisible ink? Anyway, if someone dumps a stray cat in our neighborhood, it inevitably ends up at my door. Gent was the last to be taken in of our local feral cat colony. We were free of outside cats for a few months, but….

Meet the new kids on the block.

Skitty

Skitty

Pumpkin

Pumpkin

Princess

Princess

The big one, with the fur coat that would see her through an Alaskan winter, is Skitty. (Named that because she was one skittish kitty) She has grown extremely loving in a very short period of time, and walking to the garden without tripping over her has become quite a chore. The orange one is Pumpkin. You may pull his tail or touch his nose, but petting him is out of the question. The little fluff ball is Princess. She is very delicate, very feminine, and a non-stop chatterbox. We really don’t mind their company, and someone has expressed interest in Skitty and Princess. I’ve already decided to keep Pumpkin as an outdoor cat. (We have plenty of warm shelter for the winter, and finding a home for a cat you can’t touch is difficult.)

But how? How do these cats know that out of all of the houses in the neighborhood this is the one to come to? How do they know which person will run into the house to get them a plate of cat food and a bowl of milk? I think perhaps it’s time to paint my fence, or maybe apply a little makeup?

Sue

 

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